city-wide tragedy

so its been a week of complete ups and downs. things with me and chi didnt work out, but im not too upset about that. we just didnt have any chemistry. but a few days after that, my friend tyler (who i have had a crush on for a long time) asked me on a date. so im really giddy about that. he makes me smile even when hes not with me. he makes me forget about phil in the best way. dont know what we're doing yet, but no matter what we will have a good time. we've both hinted at a relationship, which im totally okay with.

then comes the down side to the week. i was informed last night that a friend of mine, J Rivet, passed away. i'm not sure what happened. i dont have that information yet. its a shocking piece of news either way. he was one of the most talented, most real people ive ever met. he never worried about the bullshit in life. he just wanted to have fun and he was always nice to every one. he was one of the most intelligent people in this fucking city. this really is a great loss. part of me wants to look at this with a completely platonic, socratic mind. i keep telling myself he has ascended into the greater, ideal mind, which is where he probably belongs as he was always very philosopihcal. he is with in all of us now. the other part of me cant stop crying. its difficult to lose any one. at the end of the day, all we can do is remember fondly th times we shared. i just regret that i did not have more time with him before he left. between me going off the grid, and him moving to maryland, i hadnt seen him in well over a year. i regret this with all my heart now. every time i saw him, he made me feel wanted. he did this with every one. he was an amazing human being, and philadelphia is suffering today.

we love you. we miss you. we will always remember you
R.I.P. J Rivet

::signing off::

things are a'brewin

so im already really into the semester. my first project is a movie poster. we have some pretty vague parameters so what im going to do iiiisssss..... Lady Gaga as the Bride of Frankenstein. im taking a lot of reference from the bad romance video. im gonna use mr. iron jaw as frankie. its gonna be some fun shit. gonna use a lot of black, purple, blue, bright green, and yellow. ya know, like the old monster movie posters. i figure this makes a lot of sense though as gaga's tour/album being called monster/monster ball. i think its gonna be really nifty. im working on the sketch for it now. mom will be disapointed lol. o well.

also: chi is coming down tomorrow :D im so fucking excited. were going to the desecration diaries opening and then i dunno what. saturday we will be going to the mutter museum and i think hes going home after that. i honestly dont care what we do. im just giddy as shit that hes coming down. its gonna be awesome. i will post pictures. <3333

working tonight. my teacher didnt show up for class today. that was awesome.... not. but what ever. i got work on my sketch done. woo
thats all for now. ill post again tomorrow morning

::signing off::

photos, photos, photos!

did three amazing shoots yesterday. im super excited about every one of them. first was a student's project. 4 images in the style of a modern photographer. http://www.jeffbark.com very cool. i ended up covered in chocolate with a phone receiver tied around my head. dont ask, you'll see it. then we did two for fun. one is very tokyo high fashion. the second is kinda urban/lady gaga-ish. there were tennis balls and fish tanks. its gonna be amazing. i cannot wait.

so then i actually got back 2 images from vic r. (studio206) that we did together about a year and a half ago. enjoy!

228 am rambling...

ugh. im in a shitty mood. all i wanted to do tonight was drink with my friends... instead i worked until 1130 and by the time we got home, mom wouldnt let me go out with any one... wtf. im trying not to let pms get to me. im trying to stay in a good mood. but for the past few days/weeks ive been really cranky all the time...

i do have one thing to look forward to besides school starting tuesday. chi is coming to visit me next weekend. :D were going to go to the desecration diaries' party, the mutter museum, and the pin-up open skate. im really really excited. might introduce him to some of my friends from work. hes gonna meet mom at one point too. i think we're gonna grab lunch with her on friday. so yeah. needless to say, im way stoked.

but yeah, i think im gonna go try to get some sleep. maybe watch a movie. mom and i are going skating tomorrow. tyler is gonna come with. thats cool :)

work at 6 tomorrow night. photo shoot sunday. 1030 am... blargh... not excited about that one considering i have no idea how late ill be working. cant be too late cause im gonna hafta catch the train home. w/e. ill figure it out. thats all for now. ill probably be on tomorrow at some point.

signing off.

im really scared. you see. i really like this boy. but i am so worried that i'm going to self destruct. see, after phil i'm just so scared to feel anything. this guy is so sweet and funny and we have a ton in common. i really dig him. i mean. he lives in new york, but i dont care. he's gonna come visit me so we can go to the mutter museum and i wanna go to body worlds with him. aaanndd he is gonna have me come up to nyc to go to the tim burton exhibit. he's so cool. and i let him know today that if i start acting weird, that it's not him. cause i really genuinely like him and i can tell he likes me too. he's told me. but i'm just scared. phil and i have only been apart for like 2 months. i don't care about him any more, but i just feel like im so screwed up. he's still sending me texts with stuff like "i still love you" and all other sorts of bullshit.

i'm also afraid that i'm slipping into another depression. every day i don't want to do anything. i'm depressed when my friends aren't around, but i want to be alone so often. it's a continuous circle. it sucks. i really need school to start. something to focus my mind away from itself.

but anyway. i just got off the phone with the afore mentioned boy, and i feel much better now :)

signing off

freakin sweet

adorable

oh, maury

still sick. this sucks. i did wake up this morning with my cat sleeping on my back haha. it was cute. see? dont mind the retarded hair haha. so im laying on my couch with tea and watching maury. more paternity b.s. although there will be lesbians on this episode... not sure how thats gonna work... eh. what ever... i got a mad headache.

signing off

still feelin crappy

sooo im still feelin crappy. watchin king of the hill. aparently i am going to be inspiration for a character in a friend of mine's story. woo.

what i wouldnt do for a pepsi right now... or to be in nyc with a certain some one. or both :D

tomorrow will prob be a busy day. i have to make myself wake up around 9 or 10. im gonna get working on that rabbi thing i mentioned earlier. gonna work on my painting. finish up the room, clean the rat cages. then if i have time, maybe han gout with tyler or alison or pat. we'll see. i have a photo shoot at some point over the weekend with one of kyle's friends. im pretty excited about it.

for now though, i think im goig to go get some socks. signing off

Post Numero Uno

Well here goes. time for me to jump on the band waggon and begin posting all the crap that no one else cares about haha. Currently, I'm working on being slightly sick. Awesome. Also watching the American Idol season premier. I love the first few episodes. Some of these people are just ridiculous. So yeah. I'm pretty much just hanging out with my kitties. Although I am pretty excited. See, I've been chatting with this boy lately. He's really sweet. He lives in New York. He's totally into horror movies which I am allll about. He's gonna come and visit me and were gonna go to the Mutter Museum 'cause he's never been there. I'm super excited.

So there's that. I start school back up on tuesday. I'm excited because i can't really motivate myself to work on other stuff when it's not required of me. I hate that, but it's how it is. I just started a painting the other day. I'm still working on the sketch for it. It's inspired by an excerpt from Rollins' "Eye Scream". So when ever i get the sketch done, I'll post it. I'm going for ugly and derranged. Also, i have a project for some friends. I basically have to do a large scale cardboard cutout of jesus being ball tapped by a rabbi... Don't ask haha.

Okay. I really have to pee, and make more to eat. I might check back in later. Dunno. Ciao