im really scared. you see. i really like this boy. but i am so worried that i'm going to self destruct. see, after phil i'm just so scared to feel anything. this guy is so sweet and funny and we have a ton in common. i really dig him. i mean. he lives in new york, but i dont care. he's gonna come visit me so we can go to the mutter museum and i wanna go to body worlds with him. aaanndd he is gonna have me come up to nyc to go to the tim burton exhibit. he's so cool. and i let him know today that if i start acting weird, that it's not him. cause i really genuinely like him and i can tell he likes me too. he's told me. but i'm just scared. phil and i have only been apart for like 2 months. i don't care about him any more, but i just feel like im so screwed up. he's still sending me texts with stuff like "i still love you" and all other sorts of bullshit.

i'm also afraid that i'm slipping into another depression. every day i don't want to do anything. i'm depressed when my friends aren't around, but i want to be alone so often. it's a continuous circle. it sucks. i really need school to start. something to focus my mind away from itself.

but anyway. i just got off the phone with the afore mentioned boy, and i feel much better now :)

signing off